Editorial Feedback

[sarahdobson]

Editorial Feedback

[sarahdobson]

Services Framework

1. Made these titles lowercase.

Identity Management

2. Deleted second "personal."

Use Case 1: Create & Maintain Identity

3. Changed "that" to "who."

Use Case 2: Proof an Identity

4. Changed second "informs" to "determines."

Use Case 3: Manage the Entitlements Lifecycle

5. Changed "this individual" to "the requestor."

Use Case 5: Issue a Derived Credential

6. No change - cannot use "agency" as an adverb.
7. Changed to "A derived credential is a credential derived from an existing credential, with a different form factor, such as a credential on a mobile device."

Use Case 6: Manage the Credential Lifecycle

8. Removed "information."
9. Changed to "In this use case, an administrator needs to reset a password or PIN for an employee or contractor credential."

Use Case 7: Grant Access

10. Changed to "A derived credential is a credential derived from an existing credential, with a different form factor, such as a credential on a mobile device."

Component Examples

11. Added "trusted" - "An authoritative source is a trusted repository of identity attribute data."

Standards & Policies

12. Changed to "This document outlines factors that influence attributes an authoritative body must address when standardizing an attribute system and proposes some notional implementation suggestions."

Systemic

13. "They" is an accepted singular nongendered pronoun. If we restructure sentences without pronouns, they'll get very wordy very fast.
14. Standardized POV throughout.