benjarrell/transient

here today, maybe tomorrow?

The Route of All Evil

You mean while I'm sleeping in it? I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! They're like sex, except I'm having them! That's a popular name today. Little "e", big "B"? It doesn't look so shiny to me. Hello, little man. I will destroy you!

Proposition Infinity

But existing is basically all I do! My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book 'Earth in the Balance'', and the much more popular ''Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth', we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards. Bender, quit destroying the universe! Bender, quit destroying the universe! You guys aren't Santa! You're not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus? Why not indeed!

• I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money.
• No. We're on the top.
• We're rescuing ya.

Mother's Day

You're going back for the Countess, aren't you? Who am I making this out to? Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as "the brig". We'll need to have a look inside you with this camera.

I, Roommate

Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. So, how 'bout them Knicks? It's toe-tappingly tragic! Leela, are you alright? You got wanged on the head.

1. Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy.
2. Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say.

The Luck of the Fryrish

We can't compete with Mom! Her company is big and evil! Ours is small and neutral! Anyone who laughs is a communist! No. We're on the top. Shinier than yours, meatbag. Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be.

transient's Issues

Issue

Shut up and take my money! The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. It doesn't look so shiny to me. I'm sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. Just to destroy everything you ever believed in.