cap-phi/_track

Long May We Play

Here's the summary

Section 1: Plan Ahead

• Jan - Feb, 2021

#WEEK	Reading	English	Coding	Hobby
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5

• [Feb, 2021]

  #WEEK	Reading	English	Coding	Hobby
  Week 6
  Week 7
  Week 8
  Week 9

• [Mar, 2021]

  #WEEK	Reading	English	Coding	Hobby
  Week 10
  Week 11
  Week 12
  Week 13
  Week 14

• [Apr, 2021]

  #WEEK	Reading	English	Coding	Hobby
  Week 15
  Week 16
  Week 17
  Week 18

Section 2: Plan vs. Reality - Reflection

This section is a place for monthly review, updated on the last day of each month.

Section 3: Explore

The first part of this section is dedicated to the daily tricks to spice things up every day.

Tricks

Date	Topic	Links	Further	Update
02-02	Mahjong 麻将	YouTube: https://d.pr/WyQ7xp	QQ 麻将
03-02

Show yourself

The second part is just an outlet to remember the past day.

Date	Video	Audio	Picture	Other
02-02		15min Ximalaya
03-02		45min Ximalaya

Section 4: Evolve

What needs to be done

1. Gaming addiction

Since about seven years ago or even earlier (when I was in college the first time), I have lost myself in gaming from time to time, especially when I feel a lot of pressure. Feeling even worse afterwards, I am still addicted to it every time I got a chance. Recently, I have been under pressure of finishing up assignments, intead of trying to make up for the lectures and labs, I chose to play for a little while just to relax and warm up, so I told myself. Getting even more stressful when I realize it's almost dawn, I would tell myself it'd be my last game ever, pretending to get out of it. Unsurprisingly, the pathological symptom is very much like the drug addiction or alcoholism, in which case one can rarely get out of basic simulus, regardless the heavy cost of health and money. For me, the gaming is my weak point and a stain in my past. I want to get out of it. I promised myself so much more for the future, and I can't afford to throw it all away because I'm weak. I want to be better. But I keep letting myself down. To try to get out of this dilemma, something has to be done, something more than a hollow speech or some motivational videos. I propose that I live like I'm in jail, a jail that's built by myself, enforced by the judgement of the society around me, and the release date is when I feel I can retire in peace or start a new journey. Too much debt has to be paid to clear the past regrets. Even more to look forward to since I have guided myself a way to live, not only to survive.

It's all worthless if it's just a saying to make myself feel better. What a man does defines a man, not his words. So, in the midst of change, I hereby announce that I am guilty, guilty of a wasted life.