2021-05-25 We are at about 50% with regarding to being able to look at this todo list again. The 50% is holding while we heal around cognitive habits that are severely injuring our consciousness, and then we expect to quickly access it better when we remember to do so. The healing regarding cognitive injury is making progress, but has hit a temporary setback.

To help around healing cognitive harm, there are two ideas:

Metrics of cognitive injury (we have mc around this and it seems medicine is faster than us, but it is likely still helpful)

Strength training around protection of reference influences (this is a possible cognitive practice)

           this means being able to consider things without considering harm.
              it's not well-labeled.  karl has a long-running internal habit
              of brainstorming how to harm his cognition around everything he
              consciously thinks, and then acting on that quickly.  is near joke
              and boss-trade.  takes strength to not do this.  with safe-strength
              we expect to become a little safer.]
              [there is timing involved in this.  after learning a little, give
               us time to get used to it as different parts of the mind are
               exposed to it in the context of the issue.]
                  [hypnotherapist might be able to help with that.  unsure.]
                      [it engages old personal spaces of karl's where he
                       has conscious-neurons that can influence his undesired
                       thoughts and schizotypal experiences.  all these neurons
                       are mind-controlled now, but karl and they both recognise
                       each other, they are just being doped by huge bad signals.]

The above-mentioned bad-signal doping is one of the most important things to us. We expect it is not hard to identify with brain monitoring research equipment. We would happily pay a lot of money to see and influence it. Drugs likely influence it. We have mc around using the drugs without some kind of measurement that they are helping this cognitive experience, and our reason-network that we use to resist mc values that measurement too.

note to self: if succeedable, mc resistance priority around regaining control of thought influence. =>one path was found, to retake willpower. it seems helpful to build safe walls to protect from harm-spread when acting. expecting: to get more parts and consciousness doing these safe walls.<=

Karl, I'm sorry this todo list re-attempt didn't work out.

Please try to do behaviors that seem like they accomplish something, especially if you are suffering.

If I do not update this todo list, it is because I am suffering from flashbacks of being tortured. The situation with torture started around 2012 after anti-coal activism in West Virginia and anti-fracking activism in Texas, in both of which I played almost no role but removed some trojans from some activists' computers. I kept one trojan for a bit, telling somebody I was planning on seeing where it had come from. Multiple people in my community developed schizophrenia all in the same year from this situation. I lost my savings, my entire personal records of all my work before that year, and multiple homes, due to this situation, as well as my mind. [it's mostly clear that whoever did this was pretty detached from it and wasn't trying to harm me specifically, just make sure I was out of the picture. i am not looking for vindication, but I do want validation and clear records of what happened and how; it altered my life forever. if it's not obvious, I have no idea how to act on that helpfully through any normal channels. Maybe I need to engage a therapist or hypnotherapist or advocate who can help me bring evidence to authorities; it is very hard to do this with the brainwashing countering it throughout my mind.]

I post the above paragraph because resisting the brainwashing, which includes not talking about the experience and rather covering it up completely, is the only way I can do anything at all successfully. I had an experience where I could engage some behavior while doing it straight in the middle of suffering. I am seeing if I can repeat that for other valued goals. I experience sudden changes to my behavior that are difficult to handle, but by magnifying the experiences and making them more brazen, they may change from simple behavior difficulties to severe suffering, flashbacks, and cognitive difficulties, and deep among those lies an eye of the infinite storm.

Issue log:

2021-05-17 My networked dev machine has stopped booting. It says "libgcc_s.so.1: cannot open shared object file" for every one of my 3 kernel and initramfs pairs. It's hard to judge how to engage it due to brainwashing against some of the normal approaches, which makes them much harder to consider and pursue. I think it would be best to back the system up and install a fresh system. Additionally, coinbase-pro on my phone is not accepting UI input, which makes it hard to access more funds.
- I spent that entire day working on that and resolved it. There were multiple issues combining on the laptop. The phone let me use coinbase after some reboots and time. By that time I had changed my mind on withdrawing money, as my last btc purchases were above the current price.

--- oops lost the below paragraph !!!!!!

Please starting with this README.md file, change this repo to be more acceptable to show in public.

Every Shift 10 minutes:

find the package held by UPS
put docs on phone to work with jeremy regarding: symptom log and things-to-not-forget-about-self file. Also doc on xo to bitcoin regarding human care and false needs. also state-switching doc.
Make a project for working on organization systems.
replace phone battery, fix freezup issue, and fix charging issue
organize goals, values, etc from emails and this list in categories (Katie, Mon 1/15)

Purchase / Create / Find:

acetone
flush cutters
mobile clothes solution, small portable bureau

Bring to trailer:

glue to protect corners
haven phone & microusb

Doable things:

BA Tasks:

organize, consolidate possessions
Research box truck
plan trip to Indian Orchard

Confusing things:

Mention at team meeting:

environmental activism ally? distant events, unexpected schedules
cat seemed interested ... any followup? hannah expressed interest ... see how that goes

Done:

Daily Tasks: wake up take covers off stand up do todo list / calendar eye goop exercise pajamas water bathroom downstairs prep meds prep food have meds have food upstairs brush teeth take shower sit spot journal eye goop 10 mins of each project

access list:

constant thankfulness, carefulness, challenge, love without reason/judgement, orient thoughts to have no criticism or judgement

fuzzytew / todo Goto Github PK

todo's Introduction

Please starting with this README.md file, change this repo to be more acceptable to show in public.

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