seanny123/shortstories

This is where I keep all my writing.

Hey! I'm Sean Aubin!

I'm a punk trained in Electrical Engineering and Theoretical Neuroscience, which means I'm a data generalist competent in Machine Learning. I have a blog that usually updates once a year.

Further details about my professional experience are (unfortunately) on LinkedIn.

Feel free to contact me via email or LinkedIn. I'm trying to avoid using Twitter and have not yet adopted another social network.

Computery Interests

• Dynamicland: Making computing collaborative and humane by embodying it in the world.
• Zig: Replacing C for low-level computation.
• Oils: An upgrade path from Bash to a better shell language.

Other Interests

• Social System Design: Designing systems (both digital and in-person) which allow for meaningful collaborations.

AFK

I run the Toronto Applied Rationality Meetup where we discuss complex topics with compassion, nuance, and mindfulness.

shortstories's Issues

"What? I understand people."

When you say ""What? I understand people."" Do you mean that the main character is able to connect with people, can understand what they are saying, or can understand where they are coming from?

In Tempo there's no description of anything

People on scribophile seem to find our minimalism a little intimidating.

The conversation with the priest sucks

IT IS SO BAD.

The story is boring

Both Carlie and Jason started the story, but were able to put it down. Admittedly, I don't write like Dan Brown and I don't want to, but this may be an indication of a lack of hooks between plot elements and a general indication that my story is boring.

I should try another format of story-telling

Go with the Ken Liu format of describing various scenes that lead up to a point. And then make a climatic decision at that point. Instead of trying to build up with a series of decisions, like I usually do.

Cured could evaluate the range that compassion can have

Jad getting caught could explore this.

Tempo uses too many adverbs

Apparently I need to watch this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWdE1J2U7A8

The theme for Tempo may not be obvious enough

The theme for Tempo is music and how it is linked to memory and nostalgia. It's what draws Carl back in the first place.

Social Life & Friendship (Elaborate or Omit)

What does this ""A lot of your friends don't match your personality and aren't driving you to be the best that you could be."

"I think you have a different definition of friends than I do."" have to do with the main character's social life? Explain more or omit it.

Sharon is a manic pixie dream artist

She's got like too dimensions. Musician and motivated.

Also, we don't even fully understand one of those dimensions until the end of the story.

We don't take into account how our narrator is unreliable

When Tony is describing things, he's describing his perspective. We have a hard time with that.

All female characters in my stories are second-class characters

Sharon started off as manic pixie dream musician. Abby brings up a valid problem and I didn't even address at first.

In revelation blues, I will make two girls talk to each other and it won't be about a male character.

How does Cured differ from other stories on human enhancement and why?

Most stories on human enhancement work towards perfection, all the pill makes you do is be more aware of you failures. How you handle them is up to your own competence. Maybe highlight this changing the movie that Tony is watching with his friend.

No one seems to give a fuck that the producer died

Everyone is young and one of their friends died. No one asks why or reflects on their own mortality. Wtf...

Mentioning Dev in Cured is awkward

I'm sure you can think of a better example of him not imagining someone complexly and tying it together with another event in the story.

I never use any symbolism

I reveal too much, too early

I need to remember that triggered revelations are what keep a reader interested.

In Cured, there's a conversation that feels more like a skit

Before Jad confesses about taking the meication himself, the dialogue feels almost like a skit.

Everyone is still pissed at my minimalism

Re-read your favourite short stories and see how much he describes.

The story lacks realism because everything happens too smoothly

Beat mentionned: "The story itself is a little bit unrealistic regarding how everything goes so smoothly. Example: The organic printer is just ready and waiting to print this pill or the professor is just waiting to give the wanted answer. In my experience you run to their office several times and no one is there or they are busy and the printer always has a paper (or carbon) jam."

Although I disagree with the bio-printer being functional taking away from the story, I will admit that a lot of the story depends on coincidences. I may not be able to fix this in this story, but I should at least keep it mind for next time.